The Incredible Homo Hulk

Have you ever pulled down and snapped a tree in half with your own bare hands?
Let me tell you it is the most amazing experience, I swear I felt like the Hulk and the whole time I was bending it down, making this tree succumb to my bare strength, I was hoping that the neighbor's kids across the street were watching or spying on me. How cool would that be to have a rumor around that the new neighbors on the block had super human strength and under no circumstances should anybody mess with them. Sure, we might be a couple of homos but look out cause we'll snap you in half like those trees! Who needs a home security system with a couple of bionic queers? Forget the beware of dog signs, we need a "beware of dykes" sign!

To be totally honest, these trees of which I speak are technically some sort of weed, HOWEVER they do have a very thick wood "trunk" about 4 inches thick but they stay that thick from the top to the bottom so while it did require significant strength (a-hem) it's not quite the same as tearing up oak trees and using them to stir my coffee.