The STUMP

So, as previously mentioned, the back of our yard had similar qualities to what I imagine you'd see in the Amazon. Lots of vines, lush green leaves, many many varieties of bugs, spiders, flying things....you get the picture. Well, we had decided that all this foliage needed to go because basically it was weeds and I'd like to plant some fun stuff there, maybe corn, or tomatoes, or something with vertical vines to make good use of and beautify the current chain link fence.
After several days of work and many many many many many many many cans and bags of yard debris later (yes, it went to the dump, I know that's not being a good environmentalist but I just didn't know what else to do with it, we don't have a compost pile, and while I know it would probably smell nice, I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to burn it) anyways, I had it all hacked down except for the central character--that mulberry tree. Since it was protected by so many branches, this thing had grown in and out of that chain link fence and so had a really strong batch of grape vines (these were about as thick as my wrist in their strongest places) but the mulberry--that thing was as thicker than your calf muscle when you flex! HJ spent an entire day out in the yard with me (Three cheers for HJ!!!) and we had gotten rid of everything else except that stump. She sawed at it, we hacked with a hatchet, sawed some more, hacked some more, we really did a number on it but when I'd try to rock it, to make it tip, crack, anything! it just wouldn't budge. It was as if we hadn't touched it at all. So then, my brilliant sweetie blurts out "What if we drilled it?" Yes, of course! So she ran into the house, grabbed our borrowed drill and it's case of bits, we chose a decent sized wood boring bit and set to work. Between us I think we drilled at least 5 holes through this thing, and during this drilling frenzy I believe there was a brief interlude when HJ accidentally stepped into the old dog water bowl that we believe is the source of our monster mosquito population...there was some screaming, some contemplation of calling it a day, running inside to strip down and shower--BUT NO! she was such a trooper, she did not want to give up people! HJ toughed it out after a few hugs and kisses and decided to move forward with the drilling and get the stump. I think she channeled her intense disgust from the water bowl into the stump because a few more holes later and some rocking back and forth (of the stump, not us) we had it off and raised about our heads in victory!
(there are pictures to mark this event). Then, just for good measure, HJ drilled into the stump that was still in the ground, I'm not sure what for--maybe for fun, maybe to release any residue of angst from the water bowl incident...I didn't ask questions.
So now, my dear friends and readers--our fence is free and it's beautiful.
I can't wait to fill it with pretty things that bear us fruit...

Kittens!

The other day I was out in the yard...
Anyways I went into the garage to gather my tools, nothing unusual except for a few additional spider webs. Then I decided to check into this gutter problem we've been having that causes a little downpour outside the porch door so I went back into the garage for the ladder and my spade. It's dark in there when you come in from outside and your eyes haven't adjusted yet but I went to toss some cardboard on the ground and caught the eye of the cutest little itsy bitsy kitten. He was in my lawnmower box (the one I left there and just hadn't gotten around to cutting down yet for the recycles). He stretched and started coming towards me which was soooo cute and enticing, but I decided to shoo him back into the box incase his mamma was around, plus I didn't want to leave my scent on him incase that would get him into trouble. He's so cute though, and so far I'm pretty sure he's got two little siblings with him but this munchkin is Mr. Adventure and I've nicknamed him Charlie. We've seen one of his siblings and HJ named her Nefertiti. We've only seen the fur of the third peanut so I'm guessing he's a shy one. Both of us have been trying to check on them pretty regularly, make sure they're being tended to and continue to be safe because just about anything could get into our garage really with the concrete slab cracked the way it is. Which is a reminder that once these guys fly the coup, we'll have to put up some extra edging to block off the bottom of the garage door so we keep racoons, small dogs, other cats, and anything else out.
I'll keep you posted on the three muskateers!

The Incredible Homo Hulk

Have you ever pulled down and snapped a tree in half with your own bare hands?
Let me tell you it is the most amazing experience, I swear I felt like the Hulk and the whole time I was bending it down, making this tree succumb to my bare strength, I was hoping that the neighbor's kids across the street were watching or spying on me. How cool would that be to have a rumor around that the new neighbors on the block had super human strength and under no circumstances should anybody mess with them. Sure, we might be a couple of homos but look out cause we'll snap you in half like those trees! Who needs a home security system with a couple of bionic queers? Forget the beware of dog signs, we need a "beware of dykes" sign!

To be totally honest, these trees of which I speak are technically some sort of weed, HOWEVER they do have a very thick wood "trunk" about 4 inches thick but they stay that thick from the top to the bottom so while it did require significant strength (a-hem) it's not quite the same as tearing up oak trees and using them to stir my coffee.

The backyard

I'll admit, I am a bit obsessed with our yard. It's a mini football field. It's amazingly overgrown with grapevines, ivy (both of the poison and not so poison varieties), jumbo stalk like weeds with funky buds that have yet to bloom, mulberry trees (as in all around the mulberry bush) only they're not bushes--totally trees. There are crazy things hiding behind all these weeds, potentially beautiful flowers and azeala bushes but then there was also the shopping cart full of wood scraps. Before taking down all the vines, you would have never in a million years thought there was a shopping cart there. Now, what does one do with something like this? The wood is supposed to be "bundled up" but it's eaten through pretty completely by termites and will not bundle. And then there's the matter of said shopping cart, is it a bluk item? common trash? an antique? the market it's from doesn't even exist anymore...
perhaps a bonfire would be best, yes that's a perfect way to meet the new neighbors...

Sweat Equity

I've heard of it. But now I know it. There are muscles that hurt that I never knew I had, thought I had a sudden onset of very early arthritis in my hands until a few days later it went away and then came back with a vengance after another full day in the yard.... At least now I know what it'll feel like when arthritis does come my way (hopefully not for another 30 years)...